Looking For Online Dating? Try Loveawake Free Dating Service:

Israel Dating Service

Chinese Dating

Dating For Singles in Norway

Switzerland Local Dating Site

Dating In Turkey

Maltese Online Dating Site

Breaking up is hard to do. There’s usually one person who’s ready to be done and one who isn’t. It’s generally not pretty. In fact, breaking up looks a lot like a woman with a mullet.

In most standard breakups, there is a dumper and a dumpee. Depending on what side of that fence you fall on, there are different sets of rules as to what you should or shouldn’t do. Lucky for you that I am the type of benevolent soul who provide this type of information.

Just as a disclaimer since some of you are such sticklers for details, I’m assuming that the breakup is a real one. It is not a “you pissed me off today so I’m breaking up with you to teach you a lesson.”

Which seems to be some total chick ish. Sounds like a blog post in and of itself: Chick Logic (Or the lack thereof).

However, no soup for you.

Quick aside: Am I the only person who’s gone to Benihana and there weren’t any actual Asians working there? Just me? Ok.

10 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You Kick Somebody To El Curbo

1. Call them for a booty call. I know this seems like common sense but I’d be willing to bet that just because you never want to speak to somebody again, you still wouldn’t mind seeing them naked. Just stop it.

2. Heck, you shouldn’t continuously call them, period. It just leads to mixed messages. And the world doesn’t need any more confused Mariah Carey’s running around.

3. Hold them to plans you made while you were still together. I know rolling solo to the family BBQ is going to garner questions, however, you broke up with them, you need to deal with the consequences.

4. Go out on a date too quickly in a place where your ex might see you. Talk about twisting the knife. Sheesh. Plus it’s just rude.

5. Sleep with their mother or father. Just in case you didn’t know that.

6. Though you shouldn’t call them, you probably shouldn’t totally ignore them either. That’s how they end up on your front porch looking for answers with some pig blood, a container of fabric softener, and a clothes hanger in their hands.

7. You also shouldn’t send them a letter outlining everything that was wrong with them ultimately resulting in the breakup. For one, you rule out all future nakedness (I know I contradicted myself but whatever…at some point, you can probably still sleep with them—and we know that chicks prefer comfortable c**k to new nuts). For two, it stands to reason that you’ll get a letter in return. And unless you want to read 300 different ways of saying “small Johnson” or “your girls ass is phatter than yours”, you should just probably fall back–or they’ll just show up and stab you.

8. No matter how good the relationship, you shouldn’t call their mama…just because. You break up with somebody, you breakup with his or her family.

9. You definitely shouldn’t create a FB/Google status message that says, “I’m free, b*tches.” It invites unnecessary and unhealthy conversations and you just might get stabbed. You can celebrate, but try to celebrate on your own time and in a place where your ex can’t see your happiness.

10. Along those same lines, you also shouldn’t be TOO eager to change all your relationship status’ on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. It’s much better for you health and well-being to create the slow burn effect.

As you can see, if you’re the dumper, the goal here is to make your life as easy and as drama free as possible. Feel free to add your own list of things you shouldn’t do if you are the dumper in a relationship.